SHE IS JUST AWAY...

My late Mom

Today marks the 6th anniversary of my mom's passing away. Memories of that fateful Sunday morning, 26th October 2003 when she left never to return, still felt very raw. My mom at 67, was quite sickly then but still very active and she was the type who never sat still for long. My brother who rushed her to the hospital that morning later told us that she has been attacked by acute asthma and efforts by the doctor to revive her was in vain. It came as a shock to us all and at that moment when I saw her lifeless body in the hospital bed, it hit me that she was gone forever, I suddenly felt lost. I felt I couldn't breath. How do we go on without her? How can she go - no no no ...not our mother. She was supposed to be here for us for a long long time.

There were still so many things we wanted to do for her, still so many things not accomplished. I haven't told her enough that I loved and appreciated all that she had done, had sacrificed for me, for us. We thought that there was still plenty of time. Little did we know that God was to take her home that day.

Till we meet her someday, we will hold on to the memories. Lord God, please grant our mom eternal peace....Meanwhile, I'd just say, she's not gone, she's just away....

But oh God, how  I miss her..

25th ANNIVERSARY OF HUGUAN SIOU'S INSTALLATION

Huguan Siou,

YB Datuk Seri Panglima Joseph Pairin Datuk Kitingan, JP

The 25th Anniversary of Huguan Siou's Installation was celebrated recently at the Hongkod Koisaan KDCA Building. YB Datuk Seri Panglima Joseph Pairin Kitingan was installed as the 2nd Huguan Siou on the 1st July 1984 after the late Dato Donald Stephens (later known as Tun Fuad Stephens), the 1st modern day Huguan Siou of the Kadazans.

The award of this legendary title of Brave Warrior or 'Huguan Siou' is a noble recognition of the character and leadership qualitied of the person so conferred. Nowadays, the term Huguan Siou is known as 'Paramount Leader' and the word "warrior' is no longer used. In the olden days, the Huguan Siou was chosen from the 'warriors' of the tribe, those responsible to assist the village chief in the protection and security of the community. Among the warriors, there would always be one who was braver and therefore leader of the pack and known as 'Huguan Siou'.

(Sources: Adapted from various Publications, KDCA Souvenir Books)

Congratulations to our Huguan Siou and may I record our gratitude and how proud and thankful we are to have a leadership in you. We pray to the Almighty to continue to give you strength, courage, wisdom, good health and happiness. And we look forward to celebrate your Golden Anniversary Installation...

Pics: Courtesy of Nikko San

WHEN THEY LEAVE THE NEST

It seems like only yesterday that my eldest child left home for further studies. We encouraged her leaving then like most parents, proud of her courage that at the age of 18, for the first time, leaving the comfort of home and going to a place unknown. As parents, her leaving was not without the accompaniment of stress and worry. Can she look after herself? I remembered missing her so much, I cried for days and I would go to her room, touch and smell her clothes, slept in her bed. And in those moments, I was glad and thankful that I still had my 2 younger kids at home. Upon completion of her study, she came home but only for a couple of months when she had to leave again for a job away from home. In a way she never really came home except for the occasional short holiday visits.

When my second child’s turn came, the stress was the same but it wasn’t as bad this time as I had already experienced it. Also because he is a boy and a son needed to leave home to be toughened in preparation for life’s journey. And recently, my youngest child has indicated that she too would like to further her studies at the college which is again away from home. It is like dejavu, and it has the same effect as when her sister and brother left home years before. I know I should not let my concerns impede her departure. She should leave in peace and I know that her leaving is for the preparations for life’s lesson for her future. It is hard to watch her striking out on her own journey in life, ‘cos as the youngest, I always feel like she is still my baby.

The day is yet to come but if it does, then in the final few months we have together, I will not nag her about the stupid unwashed dishes, her unkempt room etc etc. ‘cos I know I will miss her dreadfully, even her moodiness, her surliness and her impatience with me sometimes, and I do know that she will miss home too…