WHEN THEY LEAVE THE NEST

It seems like only yesterday that my eldest child left home for further studies. We encouraged her leaving then like most parents, proud of her courage that at the age of 18, for the first time, leaving the comfort of home and going to a place unknown. As parents, her leaving was not without the accompaniment of stress and worry. Can she look after herself? I remembered missing her so much, I cried for days and I would go to her room, touch and smell her clothes, slept in her bed. And in those moments, I was glad and thankful that I still had my 2 younger kids at home. Upon completion of her study, she came home but only for a couple of months when she had to leave again for a job away from home. In a way she never really came home except for the occasional short holiday visits.

When my second child’s turn came, the stress was the same but it wasn’t as bad this time as I had already experienced it. Also because he is a boy and a son needed to leave home to be toughened in preparation for life’s journey. And recently, my youngest child has indicated that she too would like to further her studies at the college which is again away from home. It is like dejavu, and it has the same effect as when her sister and brother left home years before. I know I should not let my concerns impede her departure. She should leave in peace and I know that her leaving is for the preparations for life’s lesson for her future. It is hard to watch her striking out on her own journey in life, ‘cos as the youngest, I always feel like she is still my baby.

The day is yet to come but if it does, then in the final few months we have together, I will not nag her about the stupid unwashed dishes, her unkempt room etc etc. ‘cos I know I will miss her dreadfully, even her moodiness, her surliness and her impatience with me sometimes, and I do know that she will miss home too…

IN OUR TWILIGHT YEARS...

I often wonder, what will happen if one day I get really old, frail, sickly and helpless ('touchwood'). This came about after a charity visit to the Old Folks Home last Easter Day. Not that I haven't thought about it before. The visit just intensified it. I couldn't experienced taking care of my parents in such conditions as they were called by God too early in their lives.

So, say, God decided to let me stay longer on earth, will my children take care of me? Will they be too busy to care? But then again we can't impose on them as they will have families of their own. The fact that they once were helpless themselves as babies, we nurtured them, stayed up all night to look after them when they had the chicken pox or the fact that we'd rather didn't eat 'cos had to make that last dollar stretch till end of the month so as one can buy the milk for the baby. And there were years that we went without a new dress or any other luxuries 'cos we felt guilty spending the money as we'd rather we keep them for rainy days in case the baby got sick and had to bring them to the doctor and/or other necessities. That is how much parents love their children. During this time, when the child is young, the parent is strong, preeminent and due all respect.

Then the child grows up and becomes an adult and is expected that he or she must take the place of the parent and lead the family. So what will become of the parents? Will they still be accorded with the same respect when they were still young and able? Or will the children decide that the old, grumpy and wrinkled person who now hardly resemble their parents, be sent to the Old Folks Home?

Sad to say, but they are children who do this. Whatever happened to filial piety? But then again, what if the children are busy making something of themselves, to bring food to the table, to be in the rat race and they do not have the time or means to look after the parents? So, then wouldn't it be better to send their parents to the Old Folks Home, where they could be taken care of by trained minders, given proper food or medication? They would also be among friends and have something in common. But then again.....

ANOTHER TIME ANOTHER DAY - what was I thinking?

Sesshh, I was just celebrating the coming of the weekend and now it is almost over. Yup, tomorrow will be another manic Monday, a beginning of a brand new week and a brand new month, and before we know it, we will be putting up the Christmas tree and frantically searching for that perfect Christmas gifts for friends and families.

With the impending global big time recession, I wonder how our Christmas will fare this year. Every year, I resolve by saying, I need to cut down my spending and every year I fail :( and the credit card statement comes a month later, biting yes reeally biting hehehe... OK this year, I will not spend more than what I have budgeted.. (pssttt....this resolution is not new).

Have you ever done something stupid like buying that silly skirt or that silly shoes, or done something stupid and later say, hey what was I thinking. Like that skirt I bought the other day. Yup, it was on sale, got it for a good price, a reeeal bargain. It looked good when I tried it on in the fitting room. So, happily paid for it and hurriedly tried it on again at home. Yikes, who was I kidding? It was screaming, desperately trying to look young!!!!! I promptly shoved into the far corner of my overbrimming, overflowing cupboard. Will the silliness happen again? I hope not, but one can never say never...